My horoscope (Free Will Astrology) was particularly funny today...apparently Aries are satiated by complaining...these are some topics chosen for me to complain about when life is going grand:
2. "The next tissue in my tissue box doesn't magically poke out when I take one." 3. "I want some ice cream, but I overstuffed myself at dinner." 4. "I saw a hipster wearing a shirt I donated to the Salvation Army and now I want it back." 7. "I tried to spread cold butter on my toast and the bread ripped." 8. "I was really comfortable but I thought I could be really really comfortable so I adjusted and now I can't get back to my original level of comfort." 9. "When people tell me I should feel grateful for all I have instead of complaining all the time, I feel guilty."
Even though things are going fine and dandy, I am going to add two more complaints:
|my cougar stabber|
1. "I want to go for a walk in the woods at dawn but my husband doesn't think I would win in a battle against a mountain lion."
i grumbled in the car to myself "I could kill a cougar..." hoping one would attack me, just so i could show my husband who was right because i had my really cool knife with me--lightweight with a balsa handle to keep my stabbing hand warm, but a long enough blade to do some damage...but i quickly realized how hoping for a cougar attack was an absurd manifestation of my ego. It takes a vicious cougar to 100% defeat a cougar, and i am only a partial cougar with a mere four years on my husband...
2. "I thought I invented Pant-Leg Yoga Bag!"
But, alas, a search on the web revealed that i did not...oh well, i can still make them, and make them look better.
Yoga bags are like the bow cases for the modern warrior...yoga is my weapon and i will use it to defeat evil raiders ravaging my mind with advertising and evil propaganda...
Stay strong, warriors, and when you feel defeated and want to whine about it, whip out your yoga mat instead and fight back.